I was constantly Skyping my sister (the mother of a safely baby-led weaned 2yr old) with slightly panicky questions. What I really wanted someone was experienced right there next to me advising on every little thing, but alas, I couldn't find such a service in the Yellow Pages. So, in the interests of saving other mums from flailing around in the dark in a similar fashion, here are the answers to some of the questions I asked my sister:
How many things should I offer her at a meal?
She isn't really eating anything, shall I just whizz up some purees and shove 'em down the hatch?
She cries all the way through dinner because she’s so tired, what shall I do?
What we’re having is really salty, is it OK for Mae to have some?
In the book it says [cucumber], but she can’t seem to bite it!
I only managed to give her one meal today, is that OK?
Everything is slipping out of her hand, how can I get around that?
She gags on absolutely every mouthful, is that normal?
What shall I do with things like yoghurt and porridge?
She can’t hold what we eat so I’m still cooking separate meals, I feel like I may as well be doing purees
How many things should I offer her at a meal?
For the first few weeks I found just one or two things was enough, like a stick of sweet potato and a bit of broccoli. I always liked to give her a choice in case one thing was rejected. By about 8 months I was trying to get a protein, a carb, a vegetable and preferably some calcium into every meal. So maybe a bit of meat, some pasta bows, a couple of sticks of carrot and a yoghurt for dessert.
She isn't really eating anything, shall I just wizz up some purees and shove 'em down the hatch?
A few times I thought that purees would be so much easier - I knew she'd be able to swallow them, I could get lots of nutrition into the puree, I could get more actual food into her. And of course there is no harm in giving purees! It's just that if you've decided to do BLW because you think there are lots of benefits, be patient and stick out the early days, it is so worth it. Mae can and will eat almost anything now, and is so much more skilled at chewing and swallowing than her puree-fed peers. And she still only has two teeth.
She cries all the way through dinner because she’s so tired, what shall I do?
This was such a big problem for us in the first few weeks. Mae used to only take 40min naps in the day and so by 6pm it was total meltdown time, and eating seemed to take so much concentration and energy she would be over it after about five minutes. I was reassured to know that she didn't need the solids for the nutrition, it's just about practice and play and texture. Milk still comes first, she is getting all the calories and nutrients she needs from breastmilk for the first year. Some days I'd just give her a few bits and pieces and she might have one bite before it was all over. But by about 8 months she could sit through dinner without tired tears - phew!
What we’re having is really salty, is it OK for Mae to have some?
Probably not. I recently found out by asking a question on this Facebook site how much salt is OK. I now make sure she has under 1000mg a day. Read the labels of what you're giving and you'll quickly get a feel for roughly how much is in stuff and it's not hard to keep under 1000mg. I keep bread to two slices a day, and mix hard cheese with cottage cheese for cheese on toast for example, to keep the sodium down.
In the book it says [cucumber], but she can’t seem to bite it!
The book suggests lots of things to try, but I think it needs to be more specific about the first week or two because there are lots of things that they can't manage at first. Just keep trying things and if it's freaking you out, take it away and give something you know works and try the scary thing a few days or weeks later - they learn so quickly. There is a big difference between the first week or two and two months in that the book doesn't acknowledge as clearly as it could.
I only managed to give her one meal today, is that OK?
Totally fine I reckon. I used to find it really hard to fit in around all the breastfeeds and the frequent mini-naps and trying to get out and about. Remember it's just about play and texture and they are getting everything they need from milk. Again, I think she was 8 or 9 months even, before we were pretty much always getting the three meals in.
Everything is slipping out of her hand, how can I get around that?
- If they are newly steamed or boiled, let them cool on paper towel so that lots of the moisture is soaked up.
- Leave the skin on if possible, then peel it down when you give it to your baby so that they are still holding the skinny bit in their fist
- Roast instead of steam some things - it creates a natural skin
- Another friend gave me the tip of rolling it in some dry Farex to make it less slippery
- Know that this passes and within a few months your baby will work out a way to pick up practically anything
This is totally normal, they are just learning how to chew and hold things in their mouth. I know all the forums, and the book, say it's normal to gag, but it's one thing to read it and another to see your own child do it. Mae went through a phase a few days in, where every mouthful was coming back up and I felt like giving up the whole BLW thing altogether. But I was reassured because she never choked, and I just gave her mushy things like avocado and sweet potato while she was going through this to calm my own nerves really. She learnt pretty quickly how much to suck/pull/gum so that she could work it in her mouth and swallow. Just hold your nerve through this bit, it's the worst, but the rewards of BLW soon start to show, and that gag reflex is totally amazing. I wrote a bit more about the choking/gagging thing in another page.
What shall I do with things like yoghurt and porridge?
I got Mae the shortest baby spoon I could find and simply filled the spoon and gave it her. Lots ended up all over her face/the cat but if you keep holding the end as your baby takes it from you, you can keep a bit of the control as they put it in their mouth and limit the mess. I did a post on spoonfeeding here.
She can’t hold what we eat so I’m still cooking separate meals, I feel like I may as well be doing purees
Yes, indeed, the utopian vision of all eating the same thing doesn't happen for a while, and probably not entirely, for years to come. We eat lots of noodles and hot food and spaghetti etc and even now at 10 months, giving her spaghetti would be a somewhat tiring exercise for us both. I have modified what we have at breakfast and lunch so we can eat mostly the same thing, mostly together (so getting Mini Wheats rather than Special K, having the same thing on toast or in a sandwich for lunch).
For dinner, we still don't eat together because Mae has her dinner at 5.30 and we like to eat after she's gone to bed. So I do one of three things for Mae that means I'm not cooking elaborate separate meals:
1. I think of meals where a variation could be for Mae. So if I was making a hot thai green curry for us, I'd use the same veggies for Mae and fry them up with the tofu and give her those for her dinner while I continue to make ours as she eats
2. I have changed our food so more often than not, she can eat what we eat. Like roast vegies with pasta or frittata. I just make a little extra and keep it for the next day for Mae, so she often has last night's leftovers.
3. If we are having something I don't want her to have, like tonight I'm making haloumi burgers (with 1500mg of sodium per 100g she aint having no haloumi) I always have some things in like the Rafferty's Garden purees that I'll give her with pasta and cottage cheese and prob some steamed broccoli. So whilst it's a separate meal, it's very quick.
